So it’s been a while. Technically it is Valentine’s Day but it really just has been like any other day so that’s how I’m going to treat it.

Some thoughts though:

I think Greek Life in college is a very good thing. It teaches you social skills on an entirely new level that are stuffed with flexibility, fun, deep friendship, and a variety of incredible and diverse social experiences. I wish I had rushed although I’m not sure I could survive life with seventy women or that of fraternity men either. I like all the social aspects and comradery of it though. Having said that I think it leaves it’s participants lacking in one major life lesson: they don’t know what it’s like to be alone. Now I don’t know that I’ve necessarily learned how to do this, but I do know what it feels like. I was alone for a lot of college I feel just because I didn’t establish that many deep friendships while I was there and the ones I had before then grew weak from the distance. I learned what loneliness feels like and tasted depression. I wish I hadn’t experienced this but it’s pushed me to change how I approach relationships now; I have a genuine fear of being by myself and do what I can to avoid it. I think people who’ve been through the Greek system don’t know this fear because they’ve constantly been surrounded by people and only cherish the few moments they get to themselves; I however avoid them like the plague.

I enjoy doing certain things on my own: running, baking, reading. But I want to know that eventually someone is coming back to check on me and maybe even wants to know how I am. Maybe I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m just afraid of no one caring.

What I love:
to bake
to watch men eat
feeling like i’m flying when i run
HOT showers
dancing
country music
my mom
laughing
beer
coffee
mornings

not necessarily in that order.

Things I want to make:

http://naturallyella.com/2010/07/19/homemade-vanilla-extract/
http://www.sprinklebakes.com/2011/02/heritage-red-velvet-cake.html#more
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/bobby-flay/peanut-butter-caramel-swirled-brownies-recipe/index.html
Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes
Cinnamon Swirl Bread (maybe)

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/05/strawberry-shortcakecake/

http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2008/12/friday-night-dinner-pasta-alla-vodka/

Questions:
Is it ridiculous to
1) order brownies online from Vermont?
2) expect them to be fresh when they get to me in Alaska?

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