So it’s been a while. Technically it is Valentine’s Day but it really just has been like any other day so that’s how I’m going to treat it.

Some thoughts though:

I think Greek Life in college is a very good thing. It teaches you social skills on an entirely new level that are stuffed with flexibility, fun, deep friendship, and a variety of incredible and diverse social experiences. I wish I had rushed although I’m not sure I could survive life with seventy women or that of fraternity men either. I like all the social aspects and comradery of it though. Having said that I think it leaves it’s participants lacking in one major life lesson: they don’t know what it’s like to be alone. Now I don’t know that I’ve necessarily learned how to do this, but I do know what it feels like. I was alone for a lot of college I feel just because I didn’t establish that many deep friendships while I was there and the ones I had before then grew weak from the distance. I learned what loneliness feels like and tasted depression. I wish I hadn’t experienced this but it’s pushed me to change how I approach relationships now; I have a genuine fear of being by myself and do what I can to avoid it. I think people who’ve been through the Greek system don’t know this fear because they’ve constantly been surrounded by people and only cherish the few moments they get to themselves; I however avoid them like the plague.

I enjoy doing certain things on my own: running, baking, reading. But I want to know that eventually someone is coming back to check on me and maybe even wants to know how I am. Maybe I’m not afraid of being alone, I’m just afraid of no one caring.

What I love:
to bake
to watch men eat
feeling like i’m flying when i run
HOT showers
country music
my mom

not necessarily in that order.

Things I want to make:
Molten Chocolate Lava Cakes
Cinnamon Swirl Bread (maybe)

Is it ridiculous to
1) order brownies online from Vermont?
2) expect them to be fresh when they get to me in Alaska?